On Decision-Making: Just a leaf in a stream…

Do you get overwhelmed, making decisions? Or fear that you’ll make the ‘wrong’ decision, which gets in the way of you making any decision at all? Well, my friend, you are not alone!

Rather than focusing on the finality of decision-making, resulting in a right or wrong direction, if we can shift our focus to making moment-to-moment choices that are aligned with our values, desires, passions, and purpose, we will alleviate the pressures of trying to “have it all figured out,” and be better able to embrace what each moment holds for us.

The key to decision-making lies in our ability to detach from specific outcomes and instead, accept whatever arises in the experiences that follow a choice we’ve made. Of course, we can have hopes and goals that we are working towards, with our moment to moment choices, but we must embrace the general notion that there is a larger force outside of ourselves at play and that things are going to pan out. Full stop. Things pan out. If we have an attachment to how things SHOULD pan out, then we end up feeling disappointed, depressed or defeated when they do not pan out as we had hoped.

Another important factor in decision-making is that we need to get still. Really still. And really quiet. We need to reconnect with that inner intuition—our “gut”—that so many of us have become disconnected from over the years for various reasons, resulting in a diminished sense of trusting our Self. Trusting that we CAN make decisions. That we CAN manifest the things we desire. And that we CAN accept and bounce back if or when things do not go as we had hoped. It also doesn’t hurt to take a break from social media, when you’re in the throes of a life-transition, with seemingly bigger moment-to-moment choices!

I had a recent conversation with my therapist about starting to feel the pressure of needing to figure out whether or not I will have a biological child in this lifetime. The clock’s a ticking, there’s no doubt about that, and my love and aptitude for working with and being around children is undeniable but that does not automatically equate to creating my own offspring. Thankfully, women have more choices today. But ohhh the choices! If I say yes to this one “ghostly” thing (my therapist’s word, not mine), then I say no to a whole lot of other beautiful things I have manifested and am creating in my life.

I asked my therapist if and/or how I would know I was making the “right” decision about this seemingly huge life choice. Her response? “Life is a series of opportunities and choices, passing us by from moment to moment. Some we embrace, others we do not.” She then reminded me, “You have lived your life in an organically flowing way thus far and that has worked really well for you. You seized the opportunities that were right for you at the time, so why would this ‘thing’ be any different?” Okay, true!

Nothing like a good ol’ reflective conversation to nudge you back into the organic “flow” of life, right? So, I choose to continue staying grounded in the present, enjoying all of the abundance and beauty I am surrounded by—a wonderful, supportive partner, a dream job turned budding business, a safe and fun home in a lovely community, and endless opportunities for travel, learning, and self-care! I choose to continue making moment-to-moment choices that align with my values and most authentic self and trust that the bigger picture stuff will unfold as it is meant to. I choose to continue practicing nonattachment, so there is no possibility of disappointment, regret or upset. I’m like a little leaf, floating down (sometimes up) stream, collecting other leaves (experiences) along the way, while simply floating by others.

The leaves that are meant for us will no doubt end up in our path and the ones that are not, will be chillin’ off to the side—in the “not meant for me” zone. So, how do you stay grounded in the flow of life and make moment-to-moment choices that are not dependent upon outcomes?

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1 Comment

  1. Stephanie says:

    Hi Janice, this post is eerily relatable to me right now…! Reading your post and other quotables, an article on dealing with personal emotions, guided meditations, art, music, outdoors… all these things combined with friends and solo time help me reflect. I would say during hyper- reflective times like I am currently in, every little word or advice or encounter seems to feel like a sign surrounding my self purpose. It has been very difficult in understanding what I “should” be doing, bc TIME. But I do also feel I have much of a journey ahead of me which involves what I’m doing right now, seeking my most inner self and developing love for myself first!
    Thank you for sharing that personal bit, it inspires me.

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